9 Things You Should Never Forbid Children from Doing

11 Jul 2017 07:46 4,417
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Psychologists think that limits make a child feel safer and calmer. However, certain restraints can do just the opposite, making your little one feel insecure and slowing their development. Here are some things you should allow your kids to do – for instance, crying and being noise.

TIMESTAMPS
Asking questions 0:43
Feeling angry or jealous 1:52
Being greedy 2:13
Saying "no" 2:55
Having secrets 3:17
Being afraid 4:26
Being noisy 5:00
Crying 5:32
Making mistakes 6:07
Don’t be shy to offer your help 6:48

SUMMARY
- Ask your child some questions as well. One of them might be 'How was your day?' If at first your child doesn’t want to respond or just says something like ’fine’ or ’everything’s ok,’ you don’t need to insist on a fuller answer. Tell your child about your day, things you have learned, and the things you have enjoyed.
- A child is a person, and they have the right to have negative feelings. Remember that their willpower isn’t strong yet, and they have trouble controlling themselves. Your kids shouldn’t just stop expressing their feelings if we think they’re "bad" ones.
- A child has the right to have things of their own, just as adults do. Never shame them for being greedy. Instead, ask them to exchange their toys with other kids.
- Your child isn’t your subject; they’re a family member in their right. Forbidding them to say "no" to you means violating their borders. Instead, try to find a way to explain to them why they sometimes must do what they don’t want to.
- The older your kids are, the more they need their privacy. You should know what’s going on in their lives, but make sure you don’t trespass. Your kids’ trust is priceless, and it’s best not to risk it by reading their diaries or pressing them for secrets. However, always show your kid that you're interested in them.
- Little kids may become scared of a doctor or a strange relative, and that’s fine. Don’t shame them for being afraid, but let them know you’re there and there’s nothing to fear. Also, if you have a son, never tell him anything like, ‘Boys are not meant to get scared’ or ‘Men don’t have a right to express their feelings.’
- Don’t spoil your kid’s childhood. Let them sing songs and make noises. When they grow up, the society won't them let do many things and will force them to follow a lot of rules.
- Children feel everything much more vividly than adults. Don’t forbid your kid to cry, nor shame them for tears. It’s better to help them understand why they’re crying and find a way to deal with it.
- No one likes making mistakes, and it’s even worse when an adult scolds you for them. It’s no surprise that a child won’t ever want to do anything on their own after that. Never say ‘You should be ashamed of yourself’ or ‘You’re a bad person’.
BONUS
Most of us find it difficult asking other people for help. A child who is not used to getting help with small things won’t ask their parents for assistance in difficult situations either. Take small steps at first. Offer your child help with cleaning their room or doing their homework. Don’t be afraid to ask.

Do you know any other parenting mistakes that all of us should avoid? Share them in the comments!

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