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Occasionally, late at night… The Bearded Man will awaken. Granted, this isn’t some form of insomnia or anything so mundane, rather, it’s a calling. It’s a secret code that beckons to the worldly elite while the rest of us are sleeping. Us mere mortals can’t comprehend it, which is why few of us even attempt to. Those that do, go mad, in a Matrix-esque style suicide mission. But The Bearded Man knows… That somewhere, on this earth of ours, something exists beyond comparison. Something so magical that it would keep our bearded hero awake. That something? The greatest water slide in the world. 300 meters of pure, ball-busting bliss. There’s only one place it can be found: The Waterside Amusement Park for Recreational Activities. Do go and visit sometime, and tell them we sent you. It’s probably good for like 30% off or something.
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